Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thinking of you Nathan

Dear Nathan, It's only Wednesday, but I am cooking turkey. It's a very quiet and somber holiday kick-off without you buddy. I'm usually talking back and forth to your mama, but not this year. I haven't been able to talk to her much lately... I suspect she's not doing well at all, I would expect that any way.

Phil and I were in Target the other day, just wandering around. We looked at dog clothes and treats some household items, women's clothes and finally men's clothes. I saw the kind of shorts you liked and lots of the jammer bottoms. Actually I saw a number of things I know you liked. I wish I could have bought them for you. Love, Grama

Monday, November 24, 2008

I am missing Nathan

It's the holiday season and I am missing Nathan terribly. I just don't know what else to say. I miss my boy.

Everytime I see that ad on TV for Dell Computers where a lady sings in a whispery voice "I am green today" it brings Nathan to mind. While he may not have been big on Dell Computers, (he was sold on Mac's) he'd have loved the green. Green was, after all, his favorite color.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

In Memory of Jesus and the Saints

Daily Meditation for November 12, 2008
written by Henri Nouwen

In Memory of Jesus and the Saints

Belonging to the communion of saints means being connected
with all people transformed by the Spirit of Jesus. This
connection is deep and intimate. Those who have lived as
brothers and sisters of Jesus continue to live within us,
even though they have died, just as Jesus continues to live
within us, even though he has died.

We live our lives in memory of Jesus and the saints, and
this memory is a real presence. Jesus and his saints are
part of our most intimate and spiritual knowledge of God.
They inspire us, guide us, encourage us, and give us hope.
They are the source of our constant transformation. Yes, we
carry them in our bodies and thus keep them alive for all
with whom we live and work.

Footnote: I am just very recently coming into a better understanding of the communion of saints and it is such a comfort to ponder on Nathan's continuing "to live within us". It makes me feel much more "normal" for lack of a better word to realize that it is natural to "carry [him] in our bodies and thus keep[ing] [him] alive for all with whom we live"... I'm not sure, but I think it's helping me realize that I haven't had that desire for Jesus, not that deep burning, want Him with me all the time, feeling. Thank you Nathan for giving me direction, and thank you Jesus for speaking through this awfulness as I stumble along trying to figure out what I am supposed to be doing. I love you both so much.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

From Uncle Tommy

Nathan's Uncle Tom, Nathan's mama's brother, left this as a comment to another post. I feel it more appropriately belongs on the front page. Thank you my beloved son Tom for sharing your heart.

In Loving Memory

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And I'll come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I'm glad He set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still

And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will


And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

November 10, 2008 9:16 PM