So sad

It just feels like things will never be right again.

The struggles and awful pain continue and the far reaching affects are numbing.

Oh Nathan, I wish you hadn't done this.

Not only have I lost my beloved first born grandson, but I've lost a daughter and the pain is almost unbearable. She's just almost unreachable at times. I grieve that. I miss her. I don't expect her to be the same, or to even be healed. She'll never be completely healed. But I feel as grievous about her nearly as much as I do about Nathan.

I pray for Lisa's heart to have some peace, and for her precious weary mind to get some comfort. My first born, beloved baby girl, I love you honey.

My dear boy

I haven't forgotten you dear grandson. I haven't been able to write. Holidays were terrible for me and your mom, dad and Nick. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of your leaving and it's nearly as painful as it was a year ago.