Friday, February 3, 2012

A Letter to Nathan

Dearest Darling Nathan,

I went down to visit your mama, dad and brother, and felt closer to you than I have since you left us. Your mama broke her foot in Oct and it didn't heal right so she had to have surgery. I was so very happy to see her but very sad about her foot. Your Grandma Joan has been able to stay with her and take care of her, and she's done such a good job. She works so hard. As you know, your Papa Conner is gone now too, and Grandma misses him and is sad. She likes to be at your mama's house. Everything is sad about Grandpa having to leave and mama hurting her foot, but I had a very good visit with mama, Nick and Grandma.

Grandma sleeps in what used to be the spare bedroom. While I was there I slept in your room. It's been very hard for me to enter your room even, so it was very different for me to entertain the thought of sleeping in the very room, on the very bed, upon which you slept. I almost felt as though I sullied it somehow, and yet I know you would have been glad for me to share your room. I walked around the room, looked at your books, and computer and so very many other things that were yours. I saw the hamper you had in your dorm room. It still stands in the corner with the same clothes in it, as it had, when your mama and daddy brought it home from Wright State. It was just all very breath taking, almost sacred. I felt as though I should have been able to reach out and touch you. But then, it was very calm. I pulled the covers in around me and drifted off to sleep with you on my mind. I slept a blessed sleep. I think you must have been watching over me; you and Jesus. I love you Nathan and I miss you more than ever.

Love and hugs,
Grama

2 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Yes my beloved friend, it was very healing. I long to be there with Lisa and Mike and Nick. To be able to have a reverie in Nathans room. :-)

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