It's been seven months today since Nathan left us. I have a very hard time using the word died when talking about Nathan. It sounds so final. I know Lisa will be in pain today. I feel so helpless. I wish I could send some cheerful or inspirational email that would make it all better, or at least less painful.
My computer could use a tune up I think, things that I haven't the vaguest idea how to do, such as cleaning up the registry. I've never ever tampered with anything in the registry. Nathan did, he was so confident, it didn't scare him at all. Some days I have the thought, after some minor accomplishment, that Nathan would be so proud of me. Oh how I long to hear him say those words again. It was so neat to hear such a young person say they were proud of someone my age, and so sweet for him to be so thoughtful.
I so regret that we seemed to be mildly estranged before he left. I should have put forth a little more effort than I did to stay in contact. He asked me to. He always reminded me that I could send email to him if I wanted. I don't know why I didn't, I can remember feeling that I didn't know what type of emails he liked. Jokes? Technical article? In retrospect I realize it didn't even matter. Oh God I hope he knew I loved him. I miss you so much Nate.
Thanks for all you've done
ReplyDeleteI've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And I'll come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me
I never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
I'm glad He set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still
And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
Thank you dear Tom for sharing your heart on my blog. I love you son.
ReplyDelete